How many times have you said a certain thing, posted a certain photo, behaved in a certain manner – all because you wanted to appear a certain way? When we base our decisions around appearances, we distance ourself from authenticity. This article is all about how to care less about what other people think.

It makes sense to care about what others think, because in the past, being liked often meant survival in the tribe. Nowadays, in the modern world, people don’t need to be liked in order to survive. So the tendency to place someone else’s opinion above yours is a natural one. Yet, natural as it may be, it’s something you can not only manage, but overcome.

It’s about the experience not the appearance

The truth is, a lot of people choose appearance over reality. They would place the appearance of wealth, status, beauty and friends as more important actually having them. As long as other people think they have all of those things, they feel okay about themselves.

I believe everyone has struggled with this at some point, and many are still struggling. It’s just part of being human. Letting go of outside perception is not an easy overnight fix. But each small step you take away from your inauthentic self leads you closer to the real you.

One of the most important lessons I learned last year is this: it’s about the experience, not the appearance. When I find myself questioning if I should say this, post that, go there, or do that for fear of what someone else might think of me, it serves as an empowering and calming affirmation.

“It’s about the experience, not the appearance.”

By focusing on your own perception and enjoyment, you reclaim your power. The decisions you make and other people’s opinions should really have nothing to do with each other. They are like oil and water. And when you start to embody that, you will begin interact with and react to the world in a way that is very powerful.

Ask yourself this question (which I’ve suggested in other articles):

“How can I enjoy myself right now?”

I love this question because it immediately brings me into the present and into my own pleasure. Suddenly the way I’m being perceived doesn’t seem to matter when it’s compared to my own personal experience (the way it should be).

When we put the opinions, choices and lives of other people on a pedestal above ours, it’s almost like saying “I don’t really trust or love myself enough to be me.” And when you think this way, you will be constantly at the whim of those around you, not feeling safe with your own opinions, choices and life. You will be looking outside of yourself, searching for someone or something to make your decisions for you and tell you how to feel.

It may feel safe, but it certainly isn’t rewarding. It certainly isn’t you. 

The opinions of others will fly at you constantly. At a certain point you have to stop letting them be so important and choose yourself instead. In order to stand in your power and live in alignment, you need to be you. And you need to be okay with being you, passionately, in whatever way that means.

Stop taking things so seriously

You probably overestimate how many people are focused on you and your shortcomings – far less than you imagine. Other people are focused on themselves, just like you. So this is a relief in a lot of ways because it means people aren’t really scrutinizing you as often as you’d think.

When you’re overly concerned about this, it causes you to act with unnecessary inhibition and self seriousness that will only hold you back and keep you from shining. Sure, you may be successfully hiding all of your flaws and eccentricities, but you’re also hiding your strengths and unique perspective.

If you let how you’re seen by others influence the way you act and communicate, you become a sort of chameleon, morphing into colors in order to blend in or hide. You don’t want people to judge you, so you change to a color they’ll approve of or put up with.

The more authentic you are, oftentimes the more polarizing you are. By being in your genuine energy, you will naturally repel situations and people more intensely; you will also attract more them intensely.

It isn’t a bad thing that some people are repelled by you – those aren’t your people!

Authenticity means standing confidently in your own color, all the time.

Be as true as you can to yourself and let the chips fall where they may.

muah