Seducing a man into bed is easy, but can you seduce him into love?

When it comes to seduction, a lot of dating advice you’ll find is focused on the short term ways to seduce. Things like eye contact, body language and certain phrases. While they might work, they usually only work for- you guessed it, a short amount of time.

What if you don’t want a man for only one night, but instead someone who craves you all the time?

By being a challenge, focusing on yourself, and knowing when to give rewards and natural consequences, you’ll be able to keep men interested in you and attract the relationship we both know you deserve.

If you want to know how to seduce a man beyond the bedroom and keep him interested longterm, this is for you.

 

 

1. Be a Challenge

 

The mistake that a lot of women make with men is giving them what they want without any effort.

When you like a guy, naturally you want to please him. But if you are too available, too forgiving and too “go with the flow”, it’s harder for him to value you.

By understanding that he wants to work for you and not being afraid to create some friction, you will empower yourself and your relationship.

 

 

He Wants to Win You

 

He wants to view the woman he’s with as an achievement. The mistake that many women make when it comes to dating is making things way too easy.

A lot women find themselves in the “cool girl” trap, where they convince themselves that in order to be attractive to men they have to go with the flow. A lot of the time this manifests as low standards, easy sex and never being able to articulate and speak up for what it is they actually want.

Whether it’s because we want to seem easy going and cool, or because we care about the guy and want to please him, understand this: the right guy won’t be turned off by the fact that you have preferences and boundaries.

Men value the things they work hard for. If a man receives something without feeling like he earned it, whether it’s praise, sex, a girlfriend or a job, he’s more likely to take it for granted. It’s just how it is.

 

Signs you might be making things too easy:

 

• you always make time for him even if it means neglecting your own responsibilities/needs
• you forgive him easily because you’re afraid he’ll walk away if you don’t
• you give him access to your body very early and often

 

Instead of asking yourself “how do I impress him?” ask yourself “how can he impress me?”. This doesn’t mean that you should put in zero effort and act like a princess. It means that you need to figure out what you do and don’t want in a relationship- what you will and won’t put up with.

So make yourself a bit of a challenge- someone that will stand up for herself and say no when it feels right.

When you feel comfortable setting boundaries and acting out of empowerment instead of insecurity, it will send the wrong guys away and draw the right ones towards you.

 

 

2. Focus on Yourself 

 

 

You might be asking yourself, “If I focus more on myself, will my relationship will suffer?”

No, quite the opposite.

Loving yourself is very seductive. When you have your own dreams, desires and goals, people can’t help but to be drawn towards you.

 

Prioritize Your Life

 

Become dynamic and the best version of you. Don’t allow a man to throw you off course and distract you from yourself.

It’s actually unattractive when you focus all of your energy on the person you’re with. It’s very seductive when you have your own life, dreams and goals outside of your relationship. By being in your own frame and loving yourself first, you will naturally attract more love.

 

Ways to do this:

 

• make time for your self care (exercise, reading, journaling, morning and night routines)
• define and pursue your personal goals
• try new things by yourself and for yourself
• nurture the other relationships in your life

 

What this does is it peels your energy off of him and leaves him wanting more of you. You’re showing him that even though he is important to you, you are still important to yourself. Self love is extremely seductive.

So instead of figuring out ways to fit into his life, let him fit into yours too. Put love into yourself, not just your relationship.

By committing to pursuing your passions and taking care of yourself, you are creating space in the relationship that causes him to not only crave and pursue you, but respect you. He will feel a need to keep up with you, in a good way.

 

 

 

 

3. Give Him Rewards and Natural Consequences

 

 

This might be the most important thing when it comes to longterm seduction: knowing when to give appreciation and when to give consequences.

Men value appreciation and admiration as much as they value a woman who gives natural consequences. Both encourage them into their masculine energy, and here’s how.

 

What are Natural Consequences?

 

 

Natural consequence definition: anything that happens naturally, without interference.

Essentially, a natural consequence is simply what happens as a result of someone’s behavior. In your relationship, natural consequences mean that when he does something that upsets you, you do not punish him. Instead, you let the natural consequences of his actions unfold.

For example: you have a date planned for 7 o’ clock. He ends up getting busy with work and says he can’t make it. You can either try to control the situation and punish him, or you can accept his decision and move accordingly.

The natural consequence of this scenario could be that you decide to go with a friend or even by yourself to the restaurant. The natural consequence might also be that you just don’t go, and do something else instead.

If you wanted to punish him, you would try to convince, complain and control the situation. You would be disrespecting his free will by rejecting his decision.

Sometimes in relationships we focus so heavily on being right that we seem to forget about being happy. 

You can express your negative feelings in a way that’s open and honest, but don’t try to control him and punish him for doing something “wrong”. Respect his free will and accept the choices he makes.Then honor your own, with love.

He will feel respected by you and less likely to feel defensive and blamed. This will actually encourage him to please you even more.

 

Express Appreciation and Admiration

 

Last but not least! Express your love for him.

In order for a man to truly want you, you must be able to appreciate and admire him.

This is essential in seduction because when you appreciate a man for doing something, he’s more likely to do it again. He will come back to you over and over because of the way you make him feel.

It’s important to pay attention to the things he does well. Sometimes we can be so quick to point out what someone is doing wrong and take for granted what they are doing right. He wants to be acknowledged for the things he does that please you.

Tell him thank you when pays for dinner, that you admire how hard he works or that you appreciate how he’s always on time for dates. Have your appreciation be genuine and specific. Consider the things he does that you might take for granted, and start to show you

Saying things like this to him will light him up and make him want to gain your appreciation even more, not to mention how much power there is in physical appreciation 😉

 

Summary: by being a challenge, focusing on yourself and expressing yourself naturally and constructively, you will have all the tools you need to not only seduce a man longterm, but to encourage a healthy relationship where both of you thrives.

Related Article: How to Be Feminine in a Relationship