Overthinking is a common symptom when it comes to our relationships, but that doesn’t make it healthy. Our brains trick us into believing that our thoughts can fix or figure out something by replaying it over and over again. The truth is this doesn’t fix anything, it only wastes your energy.

When it comes to dating, overthinking is even less helpful, because you’re focusing on someone else’s psychology when it’s none of your business.

I know this can be hard to accept at first, but once you do it’s actually a huge relief.

When you realize it doesn’t benefit you to figure out what they’re thinking, it’s like freeing yourself from shackles. This means accepting that you can’t control anyone else and letting go of manipulating an outcome.

It’s time to pull your energy away from them and give it back to yourself.

 

Don’t Resist Your Thoughts

 

When you realize you’re overthinking you can start to feel even worse. You may think “Why am I overthinking, this isn’t healthy and I need to stop!!!” But now these thoughts cause you to overthink about overthinking!

Stop resisting. If you let it come up and allow yourself to feel it, you can release these thoughts and feelings. Don’t get down on yourself for thinking too much, we all do it sometimes.

It’s time to do inner work and understand where this is coming from. Instead of feeling guilty, crazy or ashamed of yourself, do this instead.

Ask yourself:

What fears/wounds am I trying to protect myself from?

And:

What is overthinking costing me?”

Asking yourself these tough questions can bring a lot of clarity to the situation and help you to erase confusion.

 

Take Your Power Back

 

Understand this: you are not your thoughts. You are not even your feelings. You are something much more powerful, and your thoughts and feelings don’t have control over you unless you let them.

You’re the adult here. Your thoughts and feelings are like your children, and it’s your job to take care of them and guide them.

If you are feeling out of control because of them, then it’s time to put them in their place. This something I like to tell my thoughts and feelings:

“I understand where you’re coming from and what you want, but I’m the adult here, and I am in control of my reality.”

Why give your expensive energy away to other people by obsessing over them? You do it because you think that you’ll be able to solve something or manipulate a certain outcome, which is a lie.

Another persons behavior can never raise or lower your value. Your value is what you think of you. That’s it. The war in your head has nothing to do with another person. No matter what they’re doing, you should never give your power away to them. You’re a sovereign being who’s just as important as they are.

Your energy belongs with you. It’s time to reclaim it.

So find a practice or an activity that brings you back to yourself. Meditate, watch your favorite tv show, read a book, get dressed up and go out. Show yourself how important you are.

Don’t ever let someone be the sun in which you revolve around. You are the sun, as each of us should be to our own reality.

 

Trust the Unfolding of Your Life

 

You may convince yourself that by concentrating on the worst scenario you can prepare and protect yourself for what may happen, but all you’re doing is feeding the outcome you don’t want.

It takes you out of the present moment and places you in the past and future; who wants that? You’re creating the very reality you’re so afraid of.

Stop giving this hypothetical reality so much power and energy, It doesn’t deserve it. Start focusing on what feelings and scenarios you do want. What does that feel like? What does it sound like or taste like?

Take deep breaths, sit in silence and feel the reality you want. 

Your life is unfolding exactly how it’s supposed to, so trust the process and have faith that things are conspiring in your favor.

You are a lot more powerful than what is making you anxious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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